Friday, 29 January 2016
Self doubt and Reassurance - Knowing I am in the right place
Like anybody on the verge of embarking on the very first journey of their career, I had been feeling anxious and nervous: a foreign year level of learners; a shared learning space; the judgement of other teachers (delusional, I know); the digital aspect; the pressure to succeed; it was almost overwhelming. Through dialogue with colleagues, through talking about what learning matters I realised that my fear of judgement and my anxiety of the challenge that lies before me is not greater than my will to create opportunities for learners to succeed. What energy will I have to put into those opportunities if I am spending so much of it on worrying about what other people think of me? Certainly less than I would if I were just getting on with the business. Upon this realisation a calm came over me, a tingling excitement doused my nervousness. In times of self-doubt, I need only ask myself “why?” to be reminded of the big picture; the learner’s worth and my capacity to improve as a person and as a teacher.
During the Manaiakalani Orientation Dorothy Burt wanted to draw attention to the core business of Manaiakalani, the crux of ‘why’ it was, and the answer - He Tangata, he Tangata, he Tangata. The people. From the outside looking in, these organisations - Manaiakalani and Stonefields School, they can come across as flash and exciting because they’re different and unlike anything some people have seen before (which can then also be intimidating for the same reason!) but what has truly been invaluable to me is that through and through - on the websites, media publications and even more importantly in the flesh, this programme and this organisation sing the same song, everything we do is for the people, for our learners and for their futures. We believe in their worth and their ability to succeed. To be surrounded by and involved with such motivated and driven visionaries will keep the 'big picture' in the forefront of what I do each day, leaving very little room for self-doubt and a high need for belief in myself.